Dating during a divorce can be complicated. While you may be eager to move on with your life, you must consider the potential problems that dating can cause. If you are not careful, dating can lead to further heartache, delay the healing process, and cause legal woes.
Here are a few things to keep in mind before you start dating while your divorce is still happening.
You May Not Be Ready
It can be tempting to jump right back into the dating pool. However, this isn't always the best idea. Divorce typically involves a lot of emotion and personal adjustments. It takes time to heal, and you may be rushing into a new situation before you’ve readjusted your life. This can lead to more pain in the long run.
Your Kids May Not Be Ready
Children and young teens still operate on very binary thinking. It may be hard for them to understand that the relationship is over when you are still technically married. Be sensitive to their needs and feelings. Allow them to be involved in the conversation, or have family meetings where everyone can share how they're handling everything.
With all the emotions at play, both you and they can get overwhelmed. Take your time and put yourself in their shoes. There is no rush to immediately start a new relationship, and there are only so many hours in the day. You can take this time to focus on yourself and them without adding new people into the mix.
The Situation Could Be Hard on Your New Partner
Open communication is essential in any potential relationship, and you must be honest about your current situation.
When meeting someone new, it’s tempting to show them only the good sides of your life. Doing so, however, does not foster a lasting bond. It also doesn't give the other person a realistic picture of who you really are.
Ultimately, you’re bringing someone into a massive transitional period in your life, and you must be honest about that. They might be crazy about you, and that feels great. However, you’re asking them to carry a large burden right up front, and that may not be fair to them.
You Can Face Legal Issues
Navigating a divorce is never easy, and adding a new partner makes it significantly more complex. Finding relationships can be incredibly fulfilling, but it can also increase the length and cost of your legal proceedings.
Your spouse may use your dating against you. They could accuse you of infidelity, claiming that you’d been secretly dating your new partner during the marriage. This drags out the process, as you must fight these claims with evidence. You’ll be forced to pay for that investigation and for the court time, even when your spouse has no strong evidence to back their accusation.
Weighing the Pros and Cons
Dating during a divorce can be beneficial. It helps you “get back out there,” and it can open you up to new possibilities and experiences. Dating can provide companionship, offer opportunities to connect with yourself and others, and present chances to have fun and grow.
However, you should always keep your eyes on everyone’s best interests. The children, for instance, need top priority. You should also consider the potential burden you’re placing on your new partner. Furthermore, you need to protect yourself from legal problems and baseless accusations.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide if dating during your divorce is worth it. Just remember to make decisions that will lead to the most positive outcome for you and your family.
Law Office of Tzvi Y. Hagler, P.C. is here to help ease the burden of a divorce. We can work with both spouses to mediate and negotiate mutually beneficial results. When necessary, we can also represent one spouse in courtroom divorce. For a free consultation, schedule time with us online or call us now at (516) 514-3868.
